Choo! Choo!

I am a stressed out person. Always have been. I am constantly rewinding to-do lists in my head, figuring out how to stretch one paycheck until the next, trying to remember exactly what needs to be done and when, I feel guilty relaxing sometimes ... this overly-anxious nature is not necessary, but it's a part of my life nonetheless.

According to the professionals, stress is difficult to define because it is "a subjective sensation associated with varied symptoms that differ for each of us". Very true. Stress for one person could be revealed as distress and for another individual it could be interpreted as pleasure. Situations like riding a roller coaster causes fear and anxiety for some, but is seen as an adrenaline rush for others. Also, there is such a thing as good and bad stress. Situations where hard work and stress has paid off, like winning a race after practicing or doing well on an exam due to studying, is an example of the good stuff.

I believe I'm a classic example of "increased stress increases productivity", because I tend to work well (or at least get a lot done) under massive amounts of pressure. I just need to remind myself this title only holds true up to a certain individually-determined point, after which things start to roll rapidly downhill. People are fragile and resilient at the same time. Sometimes, I forget that and classify myself into only one of these categories. I imagine my mind like a rubber band. It's strong, it can hold many things together at once for long periods of time ... but add too much to that stack, the band begins to stretch beyond it's capacity and then before you know it ... SNAP!

Now, we shouldn't fear overexertion just because we are capable of snapping. Everyone needs to be able to find and manage the amount of stress that is right for them, test to see how far they can comfortably stretch their rubber band. The hard lesson I am learning (have been learning for years) is how to transform stress into something that will make me more productive and less self-destructive. I need to recognize my limits and listen when my body/ mind/ spirit is screaming for a break. Otherwise, I may be pushing daisies before I know it.

So, in the meantime, I'm working on it. Chuggin' along like The Little Engine That Could. I think I can, I know I can ...