You Suck at Craigslist

People post the most random things on Craigslist. Some are even borderline insane! I don't know what crazy Craigslist language this is, but I like it. Just look at this weirdness! What is it even for?

Hasings a Wanting: Varg Doll

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Here is foodpeeple
Has wants of these here mans:
A ONE Varg doll from the Burzum. BUT and here and exclusive to here is CATCH: must have approvings for the from Varg himselfed.Tragedy happen: last Varg doll purchse?//? MOUNTAIN DUDE BOTTLE EXTRAED WITH DOGHAIRED STAPLED ONAND ALSO THIS VARGHEAD TAPE ON IT!11!!

Serioused reply to thanks

thanksed to you mans
- foodpeeple

By the way, who is 'foodpeeple'? Sounds a bit disturbing, in a soylent green sort of way ...

for the tradsings: Soups

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has much cans and wantings for to then fills up with a soups mans?//? EMPTY CANS HASING YOU DOWN???//??
Here my pitch: I soup thems ups!11!! Not like SOUP UP the racercar SOUPS UPS with pouring of CHICKENWATER11!!!!
I can make these thing happen at you
is so easy mans
thanksed
- foodpeeple

Part of me really, really wants to understand this. Part of me actually DOES understand this. Most of me just hears Gollum.

Weekly Shudder

This week: Glamour Shots have officially reached a new level of creepy. Gorton's Fisherman meets Ovation Cell Therapy meets L.A. Ink meets Sunday on the green meets 7-11 Slurpee ... plus, LITTLE TEETH! AHHH!

Blog-chievement!

Yes folks, this is the 100th update posted on my little piece of cyberspace. Can you believe it? Seems like it was just yesterday when I didn't know if I wanted to buy into all this posting to no one in particular/ n00b nonsense ... but now, I couldn't live without this collection of random thoughts.

In celebration of this momentous occasion, I was thinking a list was in order. But about what? My favorite things? Characteristics of me? I can't think of anything more boring or less appropriate. So ... in honor of you, my dearest blog, the following list of reflections (according to each previous post) is dedicated to you!

1. A new year, a new endeavor ... Project Blog is GO!
2. Skeptical about coming up with enough interesting ideas, I originally planned to rely on things I'd already written before the birth of blog.
3. Pay it forward. A simple lesson I learned first hand.
4. Listen to your friends, some of them know what they are talking about.
5. Calculating my Emo percentage was one of the most interesting/ depressing conversations I've had with myself.
6. The newspaper never ceases to amuse me. Especially with stories about poop.
7. I love Andy Samberg. The end.
8. Sometimes I realize I am a subconscious student of myself. Man, I'm slow.
9. The best way to make a difference is to think outside yourself.
10. Lyrics consistently inspire me. I aspire to write half as well as my favorite poets one day.
11. My camera is my constant companion and has more than paid for itself with the countless memories it's captured, for me to cherish always.
12. I love all things random. If I were a fan of perfume, I would smell like random, but in a good way.
13. I don't like being set up. Also, there really is such a thing as a stupid question.
14. When you can match your self love to your self hate, you know you're doing okay.
15. First, I love Etsy. Second, mustaches are hilarious.
16. White nylons should be banned in all 50 states.
17. Sometimes I worry that my subconscious is more interesting than conscious self.
18. Married to the Sea, by Natalie Dee speaks to my character.
19. When I know what I'm talking about (or think I do), I'm easily frustrated when others don't believe me. This might explain why I was never on the debate team ...
20. I am very attached to the selections of San Diego I know and look forward to permeating all other parts of it.
21. It was touch and go there for a while, luckily blog pulled through. What a trooper.
22. Until this year, Valentine's Day was never very special to me. It still doesn't deserve the hype.
23. I over think things.
24. I love my brother. He is one of the strongest people I know.
25. I have a creepy psyche and would understand if you didn't want to be friends anymore.
26. Obsessed!
27. Some days are just determined to start annoyingly.
28. In certain situations, it's hard to decide between a high-five or face slap in response to the ideas of some people.
29. Spellcheck!
30. Growing up is worse than growing old. I hope I never grow up.
31. Glamour Shots at their finest!
32. Love, it taught me to lie. And finally let go.
33. La Mesa hot spots are an acquired taste and even then, there's no 'A' in the window.
34. Whee, I love lists!
35. Many things in my life would be easier if I believed in myself a little more.
36. Dr. Seuss is indirectly responsible for the person I am today.
37. One of the scariest things ever is realizing you may not have been right all along.
38. PMS is a SOB.
39. I can only hope my final resting place will be more educational and less boring than yours.
40. Cartoons in real life.
41. Everything I don't know is a lot.
42. In the war of the multipurpose warming devices, who will win?
43. The body, and it's incredible sensory abilities, make life worth experiencing.
44. Heroes come in unexpected packages.
45. Ugly knows no era. Prehistoric, current ... it thrives.
46. The purpose of life is a life of purpose.
47. I have been in school for what seems like 200 years. I'm always looking for ways to make it more interesting.
48. Stickin' it to the man. Yeeeah.
49. Sometimes I get really nervous about how others see me. Lame!
50. I have some strange habits. I don't know if I should alert others to their existence or not.
51. Unexpecting something pleasant is a thrill I'd never experienced until recently.
52. I like to wonder about what I could be outside of this society.
53. I'm hopelessly neurotic and my life is unfortunately governed my by stress level. Help!
54. Gold teeth = automatic membership to Thug, Inc. Even if you're a ginger.
55. I don't think I'll ever be a good photographer, but I appreciate the art of it just the same.
56. Realize what matters. It will save you a lot of heartache.
57. My resistance to Star Wars themed baked goods is futile.
58. Sometimes, I worry too much about how I'm going to scar my children to really want any.
59. Teenage Mutant Ninja Nightmare!
60. A day in the life of yours truly seems way more interesting when rhyming is involved.
61. My diet sometimes includes things that may or may not actually be edible.
62. I'm sorry I can't rise to the occasions you have already RSVP-ed me for.
63. Right now, at this moment, I'm the happiest I've been in a long time and so grateful for it.
64. Who am I?
65. Reality shows are a waste of matter.
66. I was taught to bring flowers for the hostess. I was taught to put my napkin on my lap. I was taught to send a card for special occasions. But, I wasn't taught what the card had to say ...
67. Support a great cause, make a great difference.
68. I am so thankful for Webmistress Maegan.
69. Beauty can only get you so far.
70. Okay, on to Plan B ...
71. Yay! Creatures!
72. Sometimes, our society is a difficult organism to be a part of.
73. Isn't it ironic, don't you think?
74. Business in the front, par-tay in the back!
75. Leave me to my dramatic self-loathing, please.
76. I love how some people are so awesome and they don't care who knows it.
77. Mushy: a word to describe me on most Mondays.
78. Hook, line and sinker. I'm a sucker.
79. You inspire me on a regular basis.
80. Kanye West should pay for my college education.
81. Home is where the heart is.
82. Every Friday, at approximately 3: 53 pm, "School's Out" by Alice Cooper starts playing in my head.
83. I'm taking a break this summer and I have absolutely no idea what to do with myself.
84. Being somewhere no one else has ever been excites me.
85. What some people can create with a can of spray paint and their imagination is truly amazing.
86. I write better lyrics than you.
87. I'm torn between what is expected of me and what I expect from myself.
88. Old people and their anti-old people activities make me smile.
89. I would rather not have meat on my bones.
90. My heart belongs to Zazzle. And Troll 2.
91. Deep breaths, self. Deeeep breaths.
92. Goodbyes said, you will never be gone. We all miss you everyday.
93. Nikol was right. He's fancy.
94. Realize what you're doing before you ruin what hasn't even started.
95. I even freak myself out.
96. Yikes! Yet another reason to never procreate.
97. I'm always thinking about food - cooking it, eating it, whatever. Fatty, fatty, two by four ...
98. One of my greatest fears is too many teeth and/ or very small teeth. This fear is heightened when something that shouldn't have teeth (ie. a teddy bear) has too many and/ or very small teeth.
99. Handi-CAN.
100. I love you, blog!

Cheers to the past 100 posts and to the next 100 to follow!

Legs?

Ninjas don't need no stinking legs!

Not Okay

This adorable dental tool is supposed to encourage children to brush their teeth.


I don't think I ever want to brush my teeth or own a teddy bear again.

Weekly Shudder

Along with my obsession with all things list form, I also love special reoccurring things, like the icecream man coming down my street or the cast of a Tim Burton film.

I now present an exclusive to this blog, the "Weekly Shudder". A weekly display of something entirely too disturbing I've discovered online, heard about from someone or created myself.

Rejoice! You now have a reason to live!


This week: uhh, no comment.

Slumberland

Another strange dream last night ...

I dreamt I woke up this morning to get ready to go to work, etc. only to realize my legs had fused together, into some grotesque fleshy stump with dangling feet. It was seriously ugly, too. I could see where the skin joined in the middle of my former legs, it was creepy and partially transparent. I could move my feet separately, but the trunk part was just dead weight. So gross. It's like I was on the way to beautiful-majestic-mermaid-land but got lost somewhere in mad-scientist-birth-defect-town.

The weird part is that I wasn't very scared of the situation, just annoyed. I was pissed off trying to figure out how I would drive to work with one fused leg and that I wouldn't be able to wear jeans today. For some reason, I was also afraid to let my mermaid leg come into contact with the sun. Why? Is it part vampire? I don't know.

Needless to say, when I really did wake up for work this morning, I was a little apprehensive to look under the covers and check my limb situation.

What Is

You can't depend on your eyes
when your imagination is out of focus,
you've always known you were bound for greatness
and you were right.

So forget yourself and go to work.

I could listen to you talk
but talk is cheap,
tell you what I'm thinking
these thoughts I'd rather keep.
I might wait until you understand
but that could take too long,
try and paint a picture
for you to only see it wrong.

You can't depend on good judgement
when your reason is clouded with insecurity,
you've always had exactly what it takes
to beat the best.

So come what may and love it.

I could listen to you talk
but talk is cheap,
tell you what I'm thinking
these thoughts I'd rather keep.
I might wait until you understand
but that could take too long,
try and paint a picture
for you to only see it wrong.

You can't depend on a positive future
when your present is a disappointed past,
you've always been a pillar of strength
to everyone but you.

So live and learn and love again.

Please, live and learn and love again.

Happy Monday

WTF.

Goodbye

We love you, Adrian.



You will be so greatly missed by all those who had the extreme pleasure of calling you a friend.

The Truth is Out There

This is all about to change,
and though it's been transforming slightly for months now,
it will be completely new,
entirely different in just a few days.

Change is a good thing, change is a great thing,
it brings fresh air, deep breaths -
this is a good thing, I hope it's a great thing,
after that first big step, who care about the rest?

Zazzle = Love

Ahh! I love Zazzle! My co-workers got me an awesome pegasus shirt (that only we understand) from that website and it rocks. However, hark! They have Nilbog necessities available as well!


I must have this shirt! Troll 2 is the best and worst movie of all time and I live my life according to WWAD (What Would Arnold Do?). Yeah, I know my birthday is months away ... but I MUST HAVE IT! Also, if you have not yet seen the cinematic masterpiece this article of clothing is based upon ... get thee hence to a Blockbuster near you!