Condolences

I am so sorry for your loss, Crockett. You and your family are in my thoughts during this difficult time.

Proof

The wearing of prescription lenses is not directly related to the intelligence of the individual wearing them.

Here is proof. Poser!

Trifecta

What can one say about this? I wish I was in the middle.

En Vogue

Earlier today Snuggie and Fashion Week collided, as the sleeved blankets took the runway at the Snuggie fall 2009/winter 2010 collection show. The invite read that it would "showcase the latest colors, fabrics and patterns" and feature "the sexiest looks in blanket-wear," for not only adults, but kids and canines as well.

How did Snuggie even get invited to Fashion Week? How can their as-seen-on-TV budget even afford to produce a show? Only 12 people were in attendance to absorb the hot new looks, which is 12 people too many.

Lady Gag Me

Lady Gaga freaks me out. People might think she isn't as weird as she portrays herself to be out in public, but I think she is. People might say her fashion choices are cries for attention, but I think she dresses like that because she knows it gives me nightmares.

This looks like a demon from the movie, Mirrormask, which is no coincidence as it is a Jim Henson production and we all know how much she enjoys slaughtering Muppets.


Kermit never hurt anyone. You destroyed the only frog on the planet who could pull off a banjo version of 'Rainbow Connection' with Blondie. I hope you're proud of yourself.


Ah, I see that you had to get rid of all witnesses to your Kermit crime. Apparently, Animal had to go. Possibly one of the greatest percussionists of our time. How dare you deprive the world of actual creative talent only to replace it with ... you.


If only this were a reality, you bound and gagged in a basement somewhere left to rot, and not an outfit inspired by The Cell. If only.



You are creepy, Lady Gaga. I don't like you. I know you can faux pas all by yourself, but I can't hold you accountable for all of your retard antics. After all, you are friends with Kanye.

Bucket List

Last night I was sorting through a stack of half-filled notebooks and I found the bucket list I started a while ago. Now, it's not very thorough or detailed, but it does include some major things I must do before I kick it. I have a few more to add, but for now I'm comfortable with this outline for my future.

1. Skydive/ hang glide/ bungee jump
2. Travel (refer to Wonders of the World list attached)
3. Be animated into a cartoon character
4. Read the great American novels (refer to list attached)
5. Save a life/ bring someone back to life
6. Learn to read Braille
7. Publish something
8. Become a licensed pilot
9. Build/ help build a house
10. Get married
11. Give birth
12. Body paint
13. Own a gun
14. Become a great-grandparent
15. Learn to salsa dance
16. Write my eulogy
17. Become trilingual
18. Shave my head
19. Get lasik surgery
20. Learn to play the piano
21. Compose something
22. Research another religion
23. Study my genealogy
24. Volunteer in a foreign country
25. Invent something/ secure a patent
26. Participate in a marathon/ triathlon
27. Pose nude
28. Have 6-pack abs
29. Own land
30. Become/ obtain a muse
31. Create a secret recipe
32. Get over my fear of the deep ocean
33. Be good at yoga
34. Challenge someone to a duel
35. Slap someone across the face with a fish

Hmm, I've actually already accomplished, or semi-accomplished some of these ... I'm on my way (but hopefully not too soon)!

Remix

She must love the sun
he must love the sea,
I'm thinking "who are you?"
you're thinking "who are we?"