Milestone

I’ve been thinking a lot about growing up lately. I don’t think I will ever totally assimilate into adulthood (or at least I hope not), but I can feel myself thinking and acting more maturely. I can’t say I'm completely thrilled. I mean, I am 24 years old – this is something that is only to be expected, right? Still, my inner child is cross-armed and pouting in the corner.

I’m influenced by a lot of things, usually a particular poem or lyric. This whole growing up business has me in a reflective state at present and reminded me of a quote I love from the awesome and always relevant television series, The Wonder Years …

“Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come ... I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves... for growing up.”

Getting older is a scary thing to do, not only because of the increased amount of responsibility or the crow’s feet, but because inevitability is frightening. Maturity, death, growing up, etc. are things that will happen, whether you like it or not. I don’t know if it has to do with new experiences or a different outlook on life, but in the short time since my 24th birthday, I feel like I have blossomed into the person I always imagined I could be when I thought about my potential. Yet, it’s hard for me to accept this. I’m not ready to let go of who I was, even if I’m healthier and happier now. I get upset at myself for wanting to leave the old Autumn behind.

I guess, if all else fails, we just need to revert to a younger philosophy, like that of the ten year olds on The Wonder Years. After all, there has to be a past to move to present and after my almost quarter century of life, this process has been repeated at least a few times. So, if I've done it before I should be able to do it again, right? I have to look ahead to what would be, not hate myself for growing older and forgive myself for growing up.