Holy Crap!

Union-Tribune - January 27, 2009

A robbery trial abruptly ended yesterday when a defendant smeared feces on his lawyer and threw it at jurors, authorities said. Weusi McGowan, 37, had apparently smuggled a plastic bag filled with excrement into the San Diego Superior Court building, said Paul Levikow, spokesman for the District Attorney's Office. As the jurors stood to leave for their mid morning break, McGowan smeared feces in the face and hair of his public defender and threw it at the jury box. It did not hit any of the jurors.
Judge Jeffrey Fraser declared a mistrial.

It seems kind of redundant, after reporting this story, to state that the judge called a mistrial. "Damn straight, Jeffrey - you best slam that gavel ASAP so I can go home and wash all of this CRAP off!" Oh lordy, I am horrified and in shock right now. What the hell? I used to think Larry Flint had the worst courtroom behavior I'd ever heard of, with his whole American flag-diaper statement. Boy, was I wrong. I severely underestimated the resourcefulness of a man with nothing to lose. The newspaper surprises me sometimes. I guess we are devolving now, since some people are acting like orangutans!

Also, since it didn't technically hit any of the jurors, "I don't want to be smeared with fecal matter" will most likely not be accepted as a duty excuse. Sad.