Dear future child,
Though you don't exist yet, I know that I will love you unconditionally. I know deep down you might even feel the same about me, hell - you might even grow to like me as a person in general. Which beings me to the subject of this premature letter - I love you so much, I feel the need to warn you about how weird I am. Sweetheart, Mommy's a nerd ... a huge one. I enjoy anime films strictly because they make no sense. I know way too much about Harry Potter. I get ridiculously excited over television shows about medical maladies and cat pictures with LOL captions. Honey, I will geek out in front of your friends. I will leave you notes in your lunchbox. I will always think board game night is cool. I will make you sometimes stay home from going to the mall with your friends to bake cookies with me. You see, I birthed you and therefore, your life is a never-ending debt collection. I never thought I'd enjoy being a "because I said so" parent ... but I can already tell I will relish every syllable of that phrase. Basically, I guarantee that you will be embarrassed by me. And I'm sorry about that. Trust me, though, I know exactly how it feels. My Dad would threaten to bring my lunch to school in his underwear whenever I complained about doing my homework. My dear, sweet child, I give you my word to never do anything remotely like that. But I can't promise I won't giggle when we have 'the talk' or make sarcastic comments about your fashion choices. This letter is a warning, but a warning with good intentions. Please know I wrote this specifically for your preparation of how to deal with me when you are in High School. I've been there, done that and wish I had a premeditated apology from your grandparents. I love you and am sorry in advance.
Love,
Your future Mother
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